Come on down and meet our wonderful staff. You won't find a nicer group of people. These friendly, caring individuals were all hand-picked for their outstanding interpersonal skills, dedication, professionalism and overall ability to make the customer feel right at home.

Sounds pretty good, huh?

Well, the truth is, we flipped a coin and got lucky.


TARA SUE
    
 Hi. I'm Tara. When I got the job at Trailer Park, I knew it was a blessing from up above. That somehow, I was meant to spend most of my life here. I'm basically a simple-minded person. My three main goals in life are to get my hair done in a real, "genuine" salon, buy a parcel of land to park my trailer on, and, with any luck, win the "Trailer Park Employee Contest" and get me those two round-trip bus tickets to Atlantic City that they're givin' out to lifelong, career-minded employees like me. Wow! Can life get any better!


CHRIS
    
Chris was reluctant to provide us with any background information, other than his "Bartending School" degree, telling us that he graduated at the top of his mixology class, even winning honors in the layered drink category. Understandably, we were incredulous and did a background check, subsequently finding that he had never even attended "Bartending School." After a lengthy interrogation, Chris finally admitted that he'd lied, and had no idea what-so-ever on how to tend bar and that he invented his "fanciful yarn" one night while watching the movie "Cocktail." Well, we immediately thought, "What a kidder." and hired him that same day as our "Head Bartender." This is a true story. - MGMT.


Laura
    
Hi, I'm Laura. As a kid growing up, my two main interests were archaeology and money. So the question became, how can I combine the two into a lucrative career? Then it hit me! I decided to invest in an 'as seen on t.v.', handheld, metal-detector! But alas, after one summer of digging up 'sandy beaches' and 'neighbor's backyards', my only reward was $6.40 in coins, a pair of pewter-filled dentures, and an old roller-skate key. Needless to say, I had to find another career direction. As luck would have it, I found my way to N.Y.C., and I am now happily digging into seating upholstery and scrounging the floor for loose change at the Trailer Park Lounge & Grill! So please come down here and enjoy my irrepressible hospitality, and hopefully I will simultaneously be enjoying all the coinage, jewelry, and 'family heirlooms' that you leave behind. :)


DOLANN
    
I was born and raised in Los Angeles, but believe me, there is no obvious dysfunction. I too, am another wanna-be thespian, and every Saturday night can be found at Trailer Park "acting" like the cutest, most charming, engaging, reasonable and lovely waitperson you will ever encounter. Come in and see for yourself. I'll be waiting...


DIONNE
   
Hi, I'm Dionne. First, let me be quite honest. I owe the nice folks at the Trailer Park a real debt of gratitude. They took a chance on me when no one else would. My "Uncle Daddy" kicked me out of our mobile home with all my worldly possessions, which amounted to $6, my Junior High School diploma, and my late Momma's dentures. When I had nowhere to turn, the Trailer Park took me in. I mean, I had to sleep in the basement for the first six months but it helped to build my character and gave me time to think about my future. Now I know what I need to do in life. I need to find a real, "genuine," New York City "Uncle Daddy." So, to all applicants: if you have a heartbeat, like Crisco Oil, and speak fluent Senegalese, come on down and say hello.


MARIA
   
Hi! I'm Maria. Originally from Russia, I don't remember seeing any trailer parks as a child. I was told that all our country's trailers were confiscated and given to the state to be melted down for military use. Nonetheless, that never stopped me from developing a taste for the finer things in life, like beer-can wind chimes, polishing wax fruit and taking my metal detector to the beach. Recently, I was scavenging through the sand with my metal detector, looking for some loose change, when some sun-worshipper told me to move my big butt, 'cause I was blocking his sun. Can you believe the nerve of that lifeguard? Believe me, my butt is not that big. It only looks that way from certain angles, or when I'm standing next to a normal person. Why don't you just come down to the Trailer Park and judge for yourself?


LYNDSEY

Hi, I'm Lyndsey. I was born in the South, but have lived mostly in all the states that start with the letter "I." Can you name them? Now residing in Brooklyn. I'm a writer, actor and future guitar playing "Rock Goddess." Come in and see me at the Trailer Park, and I'll play you a song. Then we'll pass the hat. (Answers to quiz: Illinois, Idaho, Iowa and Indiana).


TRISHA
     
I was born and raised right here in NYC. I am the antithesis of a real "New Yawka." I have more in common with the Northern CA "tree-hugging," "turtle-saving" hippies of the late '60's. Isn't that sad? My ultimate goal in life is to secure a Gov't grant for about two million dollars, to study the annual mating habits of the South American water rat. I'm basically Janis Joplin reincarnate. I'm not a real rock star, but more of a "fake one." I am a serious, kick-ass, top-level, anytime, anyplace "Karaoke Pro." Give me a microphone, a stage and some cheap lighting and you'll have to drag me off kicking and screaming. Evidently, I was born lacking the "embarrassment gene." C'mon down and see me some time!


HANS
    
Hi, I'm Hans, also known as the "Weekend Prince." I was born and raised in Watertown, North Dakota, which is reason enough to like me. I enjoy whistling, walking and waking up. Professionally, I am a sketch comedian who likes big breasted women. Oh, did I say that?


ASHLEY
    
Hi, I'm Ashley, originally from the west coast, I'm not a tree-hugger or anything, I'm normal. I'm here to try my luck in showbiz. I'm a quadruple threat, singer, actress, dancer and comic. I'm cute, talented and charming and very secure in the knowledge that there is really nothing wrong with me. don't you agree? You don't think there is anything wrong with me, do you? You can tell me, I don't mind. Is it my looks, my hair? It's okay you can be honest. Is it my walk? It's okay tell me, I can take it. Is it my smile? C'mon, tell me, it's okay... I won't hate you. Please tell me what you don't like about me. I PROMISE I won't hold it against you. Just tell me what's wrong with me goddamitt!!!


DEVENIE
    
Hi y'all! I'm Devenie, straight outta Texas! Don't be fooled by my Texas drawl, I'm actually really smart. Believe it or not, I skipped the 12th grade, and have never looked back. Now, my superior intellect has landed me my "dream job" at the Trailer Park Lounge & Grill. All I had to do was tell them that I was a "fuc--- good waitress," and they bought it "hook, line, and sinker," and hired me on the spot! So do yourself a favor and come on down and see me at the Trailer Park. I promise to be friendly, witty, and hospitable, and if you're lucky, I might even impart some serious wisdom on your ass! Bye for now, y'all!


RAY
    
Hi, I'm Ray, I spent the last 12 months on a west to east coast jaunt, driving my trusty r.v. all the way to NYC wearing nothing but the smile on my face and my flip-flops. Driving this way is very liberating although you do become very popular with the big-rig trucker crowd when they pass you on the highway. I finally made it here with my last $20 and the talent to do two things: find a band to showcase my kick-ass voice and my other dream job of waiting tables at the Trailer Park Lounge & Grill. well lucky me, I'm now doing both. so come on down to Trailer Park on Saturday nights to have a great char-grilled burger and I'll tell you where my band is playing. Unfortunately I now do have to wear clothes when I work, but I still have my flip-flops on.


LAUREN
    
Hi, I'm Lauren. i came to NYC from a small town in Westchester, New York to try my luck at acting. My mother always told me that NYC can sometimes be a dangerous place, and that I should always carry some sort of protection. Well, I decided, what better form of protection is there than my own two hands, so I became a "black belt" in Karate (no kidding). Problem is, that all the discipline it took to get that "belt', doesn't seem to apply when I'm hankerin' for a "Trailer Park" margarita, and a well done "Fat Dog." All I know is, either I get my 'Trailer Park food & margarita fix", or I start kicking out windows! So far, everyone's been very cooperative.


MEGG
   
Hi, I'm Megg. I stumbled in to Trailer Park Lounge & Grill one afternoon, weak and ailing from a lifelong bout of "vegetarianism". It seems the negative effects of eating only tofu, sprouts, and legumes, over the years, had destroyed my health, and was also taking a toll on my sanity. The nice people at Trailer Park immediately recognized my symptoms, and fed me their fantastic "Char-Grilled Burger." It was a life-changing experience, and I've never looked back. I'm now hooked on "red meat", and realize I was only meant to consume food that once had parents. Eating scads of steak, bacon and burgers is now my life's ambition! So come on down to Trailer Park, and join me in these delicious grilled delicacies. Although we do have scrumptious veggie options on our menu, I'm not interested. I like to say, "If it once walked, flew or swam, it's part of Megg's food plan".


CANDY
   
Hey, I'm Candy. No pretense here. Simply put, I like 'tats, trucks, tunes, tequila, tater tots, trailer parks, and tips. If it starts with a "t", I'm in. C'mon down and and say hi, "O-Tay"?


BRIAN "THE MAC" 
[SECURITY]
   
I'm an ex-military, black-ops insurgency expert. Stealthy, like a cat. Like to dress in Roman gladiator outfits. Also, an Olympic-Rated "Valley Yodeler," and an all-around nice guy.